DISCLAIMER:
I am lucky to say I do have quite a few friends who are all about
challenging me in my faith. This
was actually written a little while ago after some frustrating conversations. I waited to post it because I wanted to
edit and post when I wasn’t in an emotional state. Also, I feel like this fits in well with my church's vision about being subversive (i.e. not buying into the dreams of this world, but instead having kingdom dreams).
“But seek first
his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as
well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about
itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34
As
the end of my 20s is drawing dangerously close, and my Facebook (and life) is
becoming filled with weddings and babies, I find that the fact that I am still
single has made me somewhat of an oddball. I have friends who are happily married/dating searching for
potential mates for me, while other helpful people suggest that perhaps I
should visit other churches (or hospitals) to increase my odds of meeting Mr.
Right. I also have people warning
me that in 10 years I’ll be a desperate mess if I haven’t found him. While I
love all these people for caring, and they are all well meaning, to be honest,
it’s driving me nuts! Sometimes I
feel like I only want a relationship so that people will stop talking to me
about it. While I can’t speak for
every single 20 to 30-something year old Christian girl out there, these are
some of my honest thoughts about where I am in life.
I’d like to make it clear
that I do in fact hope to one day be happily married to a good Christian,
dog-loving man (no that’s not a typo), and I don’t think that there’s any shame
in professing that or in actively looking for that person. Yes, I am in fact keeping my eyes open
in case he happens to walk by. And
yes, sometimes I look at my friends getting married and long impatiently for
the day that will be me.
BUT that is NOT what I am
living for. I live for God. And what I really need as a single
Christian woman is friends who would affirm that every day. I do NOT need people pitying me and
saying that “one day” I will find the
man who will make me complete. I need friends who will remind me that, in
Christ, I AM complete. Friends who are not scared that I will
die alone because they know that God is always with me. Friends who will be there in the times
when I am lonely, as God’s way of reminding me that he loves me. Friends who will challenge me in my
faith, encourage me to fulfill God’s calling in my life, and stand by me as I
strive to do it.
Yes, I believe in looking
for the right person, but I am not going to spend the majority of my time focused
on that because what if I don’t meet someone until I am 60 anyways? Or what if God takes me home tomorrow?
Think of all the wasted time! I
believe that God desires what is best for me and will lead me in the best
direction for my life. Yes, I get
impatient sometimes and ask when, but I really do believe that when the time is
right, I will meet the right guy.
But for the meantime, my focus is living in God’s will, NOT finding the
right guy. Again, I am not opposed
to looking around, but I feel like it should NEVER be the focus of my life.
Also, while I am open to
being introduced to someone by friends because, yes, God can bring the right
person around in that way, I guess I just wish others wouldn’t be impatient on
my behalf (I already have enough impatience of my own!). Sometimes, I feel like other people get
impatient with me for trying to trust in God’s timing! Others seem almost apologetic that I am
still single. Rather than worrying
about me becoming a bitter old spinster and/or trying to get me to meet as many
guys as possible, why not spend that time affirming my faith, so that on the
off chance that I am still single at 60, I will be a single 60 year old woman
who has lived a full and awesome life for Christ? Because at the end of the day, happily single or happily
married, living a full and awesome life for Christ is what I truly desire.
“The
thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have
life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10
